you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You need Xanax blowdarts
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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