it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
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