So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize