dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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