dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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