He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
