He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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