respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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