I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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