So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
