I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
