That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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