but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
