wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize