dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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