YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
