never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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