apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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