i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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