i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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