I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
