One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
