Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Are we still banned from the library?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
