she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
