Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
