ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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