We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
