I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
