No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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