id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
