Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i believe in u and ur pee
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
