I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
