Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
