He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
They took my balls.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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