stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
