So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
