i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
its liver damage thursday
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
