Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Who died my cat blue again?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
