i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
