hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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