I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize