I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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