Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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