you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
