My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
