If i come over, it means nothing
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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