walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
