i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
