so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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