you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The air was thick with penises
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
