You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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