one might say we're banned from that church
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
