Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize