New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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