It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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