dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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