I've blown a few things in my day
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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