She is in my trunk
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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